Posts by Coffee House Girl

66

Another Newbie

by Skinnedsheep in

jw
friends

i recently came to the realization that the organization is corrupt and is false.

my story is similar to many i think.

i was raised in the religion, pioneered and served as an elder for a number of years.

I was a born in and was married to a MS who DA'd and disappeared (I havent' seen him in over seven years and I left the org 3 years ago after experiencing the unloving attitude of the elder body) I'm trying to fix the college thing, I didn't know about this board when I was trying my "fade" so I made some mistakes by saying too much and now I am shunned even though I was never DF'd. I would take the advise of many here to read and study more, be very careful trying to talk to family that is still "in", you don't want to put up too many red flags...just try to stay under the radar after all, armageddon is NOT comming soon- you have time!

Best of luck!

CHG

19

Moving out, away and starting a new post JW life

by OneDayillBeFree in

recently at my last meeting, an older brother "in good standing" got disfellowshipped.. sitting only two seats away from him, i saw as he burst into tears as lifelong friends and family began their shunning and immediate gossip in the form of whispers came up from above the brothers and sisters in the kingdom hall.

i felt like giving him a hug and telling him that it was going to be okay and that whatever the reason for his disfellowshipment was, it didnt matter and that god still loved him but before i could muscle up enough courage to do so, he stood up in tears and left.. i shed a few silent tears for him.

i didn't see anyone else do the same.. it was at that moment that i realized without a doubt that living this way is just not worth it at all.. so i've thought about it long and hard and now i just want to move far away and just start new again.

Coffee House Girl

Oneday,

Oh I forgot appartment hunting experience/advise: I personally found a nice small appt. inside a large old victorian house that had been split up into 3 appartments, it was owned by an older hippie couple who just asked for $200 down and I never signed a lease or filled out an application. It was ideal for me since I was just starting out (didn't have much money for first and last months rent w/deposit), there were a few quirks in living in a century old house with hippies for landlords, but overall it worked out well and I had a lot of privacy...plus it was cute and cozy on the inside (outside the house looked like it was always in disrepair, people in town called it the ghosthouse).

If you are worried about money you could also put your name on a waiting list for "income-based" appartment buildings, the rent would be cheap and based on your income so you know you could afford it with proper budgeting (but a bit more noisy and smoke filled, and as a JW we hit those a lot in the door to door preaching). Some people like to go through those especially to help build credit, those types of places do at least report to the credit bureau so you have can have a good record if you try to apply to rent anywhere else in the future.

Just my two cents!

CHG

29

just got an email from a jw friend

by outofthelionsden in

jw
friends

hi guys, so i got an email form an old jw friend that i haven't seen in a long time , i moved away to another state a few years ago.

so she sent me an email to tell me that she found out that i had left "jehovahs organization" and that she has been crying for weeks because she always looked up to me ( i was always that kid that pioneered & always had demonstrations and experiences in the district and circuit assemblies) she said that she's not judging me but that she cant believe i would do that , that i know better and that there is no reason ever to leave and hopes that we wake up before its to late..... i have to respond but i know she wont hear ttatt there deep in, so any suggestions would be appreciated on what to respond.. ( im so heart broken and tiered at this point.

i know she is doing it out of love, she's actually the only person that has contacted me, not even my family has done that.

Coffee House Girl

I got a similar email about six months ago by a person from my old congregation who started texting me out of nowhere...he talked about how their family misses me so and looked up to me...then ending the email with the classic question, so why did you leave?

I tried to carefully answer his question and put in a comment that "I am not trying to sway you away from your faith, but this is what really happened" in hopes of making him feel that I was giving him a straightforward answer. His response was much colder then his texts and emails before, he said "I'm sorry that happened to you, just be careful". I never heard from him after that....sometimes you cannot sway your JW friends, they have to come to TTATT on their own.

I was still happy with my email response to him, I did express that I cared for his family, wished the best for them, and would be there anytime that they needed help. I also got to say that the WT lies when they say that those who leave are unhappy and unfulfilled, I wrote that the opposite was true and that for the first time I feel like a happy well-balanced woman. Maybe it made him think, or maybe put him into cult panic mode...I have no idea.

CHG

18

Ladies, do you think you have public speaking skills because of Theocratic Ministry School?

by Iamallcool in

jw
friends

Coffee House Girl

No not really....I was very good at writing and the TMS nurtured that skill, but I am shy and reserved with a soft-spoken voice....and I find in the college life that when I have to do class presentations I am just as nervous and my words still to not come out the same as I have written on paper (same as when I was a dub).

There are people who are "naturally" talented in the public speaking department and excell at that, I see it in college as well as when I was a JW.

CHG

67

Powerfully heart-wrenching experience by FORMER BETHLITE

by Black Man in

jw
friends

just wanting to post an experience by a former bethelite.

the first part was just published with the other two coming overt the next couple of weeks.

click the link.

Coffee House Girl

Even though I never went to bethel I could relate to her story about physical attraction and how much pressure to marry a "spiritually" strong JW man can cloud a young woman's judgement, only to find out when it is too late that as a couple there is no sexual spark (that was my experience and it caused a huge rift in our marriage & was a key factor in the death of our relationship).

I look forward to reading more, thanks for posting your link

CHG

19

Moving out, away and starting a new post JW life

by OneDayillBeFree in

recently at my last meeting, an older brother "in good standing" got disfellowshipped.. sitting only two seats away from him, i saw as he burst into tears as lifelong friends and family began their shunning and immediate gossip in the form of whispers came up from above the brothers and sisters in the kingdom hall.

i felt like giving him a hug and telling him that it was going to be okay and that whatever the reason for his disfellowshipment was, it didnt matter and that god still loved him but before i could muscle up enough courage to do so, he stood up in tears and left.. i shed a few silent tears for him.

i didn't see anyone else do the same.. it was at that moment that i realized without a doubt that living this way is just not worth it at all.. so i've thought about it long and hard and now i just want to move far away and just start new again.

Coffee House Girl

I did move out on my own first before leaving the JW's, I think it really helped me to try my first baby steps of thinking independently (although I was still holding on to the religious dogma at the time)...it was nice to not have to explain to anyone where I was going, with whom, when was I going to be back, etc. It wasn't till I was on my own that I started to hang out in coffee shops and talk to actual normal nonJW people. I was living paycheck to paycheck and sometimes my budget was really tight but it was worth it to live a couple weeks on ramen noodles or mac n cheese- my employers were really cool about giving me a raise when I said that I wanted to move into my own place, they are the ones who really supported my decision to be more independent (they didn't think it was right for a mid-twentysomething to be single living with her parents).

If I had to do it over, I would have moved to a different congregation territory so I could have done a proper fade...but I think you are making a very wise decision & it will be a life changer for you :)

Best of Luck!

CHG

42

Can you help me encourage Reopened mind.

by TotallyADD in

jw
friends

as most of you know we got a very angry letter from our oldest son.

it hurt her very much.

i feel so bad for her because he attacked her for what i feel was very unfair.

Coffee House Girl

Everyone has already said it....

(((((Hugs Reopened mind & Totally ADD))))) you are both lovely and caring people, truly a gift

CHG

11

This is better than a Convention

by cantleave in

jw
friends

me at yankee stadium last night!.

.

Coffee House Girl

Did you cross the pond cantleave??? Are those chicken wings...are you sharing?

Hope it was a great game and much more comfortable then sitting in those bleacher seats with a suit & tie in boiling July heat!

CHG

29

Maybeso

by MaybeSo in

im very sad, upset and disappointed all at the same time.

why couldnt i just stay away from this dam forum and live my life and blindly dedicated it to the borg.

now i know ttatt, i cant ignore all the facts and all the stories of the great people in this forum.

Coffee House Girl

Hello,

I am glad you got the chance to vent, it is safe here & I hope that it helped you to get it typed out so you can read it back to yourself. I was in your shoes almost four years ago, and people are giving you good advise to do your research and work in a timetable that you are comfortable with. It is wise to not come out to your family right now...you need time to think. This is a very stressful time & you need to also make time for yourself so you don't obsess so much that you have a nervous break down. Take time to do a hobby also that lets your mind relax, make sure to exercise (that gives you needed endorphins to combat depression and gives you focus to do that needed research & soul searching).

Please continue to talk, read, and learn...you can improve your life and take control of it!!!!

Best of Luck!

CHG

47

How long has this been going on!?

by Julia Orwell in

jw
friends

ok, i've suddenly got heaps of time for stuff, i can cuddle with my husband on weekend mornings, and i don't have to spend money on meeting clothes!

i've got all these great clothes i hardly wear!

we can make pancakes on saturday mornings!

Coffee House Girl

I remember my mother asking me when I first left "what do you do with all your free time?" with that concerned sad look on her face....I told her that I LOVE sleeping in Sunday mornings & my classes and work take up all the rest of my "free time"...truth is even though I am as busy as I was as a JW, I feel alive! I am tired but not mentally exhausted....I am working hard but now working towards something, not just spinning my wheels!!!

And....I love men with beards, dressing in short dresses or rock band t-shirts and baggy comfy clothes, watching thursday nite television, and happy hour!!!!

Its great that your having a good time!!!!

CHG